I'll be leaving this at the top of my journal until she's found and brought home.

This is my friends niece Alyssa and she's missing.

I have a green tea ice cream buzz so a little random. SUGAR WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Old Navy tees are really fucking long which means that there's booby room but holy shit. My 99 cent (ebay thriftin FTW) shirt is like damn near mid thigh. Note to self, investigate skinny jeans+boots for that.

As much of a dress obsession as I have, I'm having a terrible time with sizing right now. For some reason everything I want would (going by measurements) would have titty room but hang everywhere else. Not. Awesome.

I saw this strapped underbust cincher thingy that while I am intrigued I really need to see someone with DD's+ wearing it because I imagine boob weight might make it hella uncomfortable. Also I have a short torso.

I really want a new tattoo. Text naturally but since my arm isn't quite big enough for the Bukowski quote I like I am highly tempted to go with "So it goes." However- some douche baggery may have ruined the idea for me. Douche baggery in the form of hipster.

Do not want.

I started crocheting a shawl for cookie and seriously fucked it up. Have to frog it and start over now and I'm really not happy about that.

Retail wise Black Friday was kind of a bust but I did win an auction on ebay for some Old Navy pants. I have a terrible suspicion they will be too big in the ass since I do not have magical junk in the trunk.

Uniballer is watching that kitten tickle video and I recognized it from about five seconds of audio.

I almost stole a pitbull puppy the other day because she was so sweet and cute. I was highly tempted to knock her human boy to the ground, grab her and flee for snorgling and walkies. Clearly I didn't but the temptation was strong.

Okay Uniballer says it's dinner time. Cheese pizza.

Also um WOW I believe i have settled on an outfit for the office xmas party. Will need skinny jeans and killer shoes.

Okay no rly kthnks bye.

Remember I mentioned at the beginning of November that I made an ass of myself with some editors I really like? Well it wasn't such a huge faux pas that I didn't get forgiveness that story will be in the Dec. 20 issue of the Legendary.

I am SO really fucking excited about this one.

It's kind of a new thing for me. I wrote from a woman perspective (I KNOW RIGHT?), and even better I edited it by myself. And we all know editing is not my strong suit.

I was angsting SO hard about that submission too y'all. For reals tho.

The Legendary started my year off with an acceptance and I don't think I have any others outstanding so I'm happy.

Even though my reject pile is MOTHER FUCKING HUUUUUUUUUUUGE.

I'm tempted to start printing out my rejection notes.

I probably shouldn't.

Um.

OH right. Essay store.

My essay store is about three steps away from launch. I need a logo, (not sure if I'm doing that myself or not), I need to finish coding the pages. And then I need to upload my content.

The plan is when you spend your 1-3 dollars you are emailed a link to download the essay of your choice.

And I still have to write this statement about why I want to do things this way and then i have to send that to Cookie because she will tell me if I'm being a douche about it because she loves me.

Um.

FUCK I still can't find my fucking camera cord and I have fotos to share. :(

Also I think I am going to reshape my eyebrows. I'm feeling the need to channel some 30's glam but I don't want to have an accident. I'm not super good at drawing my brows on never have been. I missed that part of Goth School.

Okay that's all. I'm spent.

Okay.

So I learned some stuff as I said last night.

Strangely though I'm kinda jonesing to be writing. Matter of fact I have an essay open right now that I am editing and it feels okay.

This is a weird but nice thing.

Ambition is a weird emotion for me.

So I won yay, have the start of something I think could turn out pretty damn good when I'm writing for quality over quantity.

I have a sketchy plan for my essay store.

People -still- want to buy them.

The fall off of traffic on my regular blog since the Fatospehre feed isn't on SP anymore still isn't as huge as I thought it would be. A few people have asked me what I think about that and I'm really not sure. Yes I have an opinion but we all know that opinions are like the literal buttholes.

Uh. I heard back from We Love Colors and they are apparently working on their plus size stripey tights. I really didn't like them and would not spend 17$ on them pretty much ever.

I am unfortunately not going to be able to see Stephen Elliot either at his reading or the workshop for a variety of reasons including short staffing and the fact that I am a wage drone.

That's about. I'm going to make myself some Emergen C fizzy lifting drink and edit.

First this:




And also:

I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YEAH I WIN BITCHES!!!!!

I learned some very valuable stuff about myself as an author. Including that I am capable of shutting up my fact checkign inner nerd to let the more arty bits out. I did 50743 words in 28 days (I did nothing the first two days) and I have an excellent start to a vampire horror novel with some pan sexual ass biting action in it.

FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH. Now bed.

Theme music for my mood and the 2.75K sprint I just did.


Lyrics-

"Loco"

pull - steamroller rollin' through
my head said attached to loco
power up coal through the system
out to the right said you're in my
light - lock down the generator on
man screw down use the system
use the main plan full power up to
the point man don't fuck with me

loco

lock down here latch the generator
on screw the system
full power hit the main plan

Emphasis on the don't fuck with me bit.

A snippet under the cut and bonus video. What I imagine if Flipmode and Metal fucked and had a cornrow wearing hot piece of ass rocking baby. And I should go to bed because when I'm on a serious roll I contort myself and move muscles in a way that makes them knot. This is probably a huge part of what wrong with my fucking neck. I do it when I read too. Flexing random muscles, face twitching, grunting, occasionally kinda rocking in my chair or sitting in fucked up positions.

I'm sure if it was on video I'd look a wee bit of teh crazy.

Also can I just say AGAIN how exciting it is for me as a vampire lore lover to not be doing the white people version? Okay Fen of Color moment but I have been reading vampire fiction for seriously like twenty years or more and this feels damn nice. I remember yearning for African and Middle Eastern ancient kick ass vampires, vampires from Asia and whatnot. I always wondered how they would move about and survive and where they would go in modern times and how they would deal with it.

I'm not even to the real shit yet. This is going to be a long fucking book and YES Cookie baby I promise I will finish this fucker. Even if you have to prod me occasionally. I will also accept offers of boob feels.

And 40K MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!

( Only a little smutty? )

Not going quickly at all. Not sure I'll finish.

However, since I stopped nerding so hard on the historical details things are going smoother.



That is kinda how things are going.

In bullet point format because my brainmeats are full of other things.

1. I am still behind in my nano word count but I have learned several valuable things about my writing habits. I am often a slave to my own nerdness and will grind to a halt to research so things are just so, and that being what it is I should probably not do a historical novel again. Ever. Shit makes my brainmeats throb like a son of a bitch.
2. One of my favorite authors is going to be in town doing a writing class thing that I kinda wanna take. Despite my actual dislike of the writing classes/seminars I've taken before. I have to get the day off and figure out how to get there because the Greenwood neighborhood is a distant but fond memory. I think I need to take the five.
3. I'm also a little leery of going because I'm not sure how much I want to be the only brown person in attendance. Seattle has not been awesome to me in that respect lately (as in staring people who want to pretend like they are oh NO WAY STARING AT THE BLACK LADY WITH METAL IN HER FACE) and I'm honestly kind of spent dealing with that for this year.
4. I'm still kind of intimated talking to a few editors and other authors via social media. It makes me a little nervous that some of them (no I am not naming names) know my name enough to be intertubes friendly with me. YES that means i'm kinda intimidated and awed.
5. I am 90% certain that for Christmas this year (depending on $$) I am either getting myself a used laptop or a set of faux dreads. I want to rock some synth dreads (mostly black with 1-2 white ones, 6-10 purple ones) for awhile and I still cannot fucking make them myself. A lady I know, her partner might cut me a deal which would be awesome. I really need a laptop though so it might come down to what's more cost effective in the long term.
6. Yes I get my presents for myself based on cost effectiveness and the synth dreads will give me a good break from bunning my hair. I'd like to get it past APL sometime soon.
7. I'm having a little (okay fuck a lot) of city envy. Literary events in NY/SF are happening right now that I really want to go to. Even some here in Seatown however, I'm a working stiff.
8. Uh. Balls.
9. My nano count is- 22,487
10. I forgot my thumb drive at home and stuff so I'm going to have to pick up at another point in the story and go back and fill in tonight at home.
11. Okay that's it I really need to pee and make more coffee and pretend like I"m doing work for The Man.
12. I might take a cell phone pic of my slightly butchy outfit later.
13. Under the cut the excerpt of the day.

Okay first official snippet of the epicness.

I am taking WAY more artistic liberties with time/history in the Ancient Egypt too because I was seriously slowing myself down stopping to fucking fact check.

So in this part, our two vampire parents are visiting a temple of Sekhmet where our lady (Nina..as in the Sumerian usage) and her partner Amburu have been greeted with dancing by Nina's friend Theoris who is a shape shifter of the snakey flavor. And in this part they are spending time with our heroine to be Eshe as an orphaned infant.

They are canoodling the baby and talking.

I am at 12310 after an 800 failure to save on the PC at work I'm a little ahead of where I was at about 8 PM.

( Party like it's...um ancient fucking Egypt mother fuckers )

Yeah that.

Meh.

So I made 3K.

I also got a bug up my butt and sent a submission to The Legendary. This time writing as a girl rather than the boy with cock in hand type thing.

Now if the trend continues maybe every 3K words I will submit something else.

Also I have quite a silly author bio on the Legendary.

And I quote myself:

...is a 32 year old author who loves coffee flavored coffee and pie. She can often be seen running feral in her natural habitat somewhere in the Pacific Northwest, cup of coffee in one hand and armed with a scowl.

Here's the link to the story in case you missed it the first time.

http://www.downdirtyword.com/authors/shannonbarber.html

I am still quite proud of that one. It's easily one of my personal favorites.

Now I get pie.

And I think the next thing is I will finish the little flasher I posted the snippet of. I know exactly where else it needs to go to finish, there will be blood.


Um.

Yeah pie then bed.

Okay so I didn't get to 2500 so here's only a bit of aforementioned flasher. Not to the actual porny bits yet though.

He’s mistaken her languorous mood for safety, the thought that perhaps it might just be the hot humid weather he’s thought that he was safe. That he would not be tempted which in all truth is a lie, he knows better.

He’s always known better.

There is something like panic rolling through his sweating body, muscles jump in minute cascades, under the sheen of sweat his nipple tighten into hard peaks, he can feel his cock shift lazily in his boxer shorts. His gaze distorts and goes out of focus, the fingers of his left hand wandering over the faint raised marks left on his chest from a few months prior. She’d been in fine form and the memory of her florid face reflected in a big blade took over his consciousness.

He wasn’t paying enough attention and when his gaze refocused on the kitchen she wasn’t there. Before he could get out of the chair to find her he heard her voice, she was still in the kitchen but he could tell that she was sitting at their small table which was out of his view.

“Get in here.”

A chill ran down his spine, her sweet soft voice drifted to him and he oozed out of the chair and onto hands and knees. He knew the drill and what she expected of him.

Bleh.



ETA if I hit 2500 before I go home in the next three hours I will post what I have of my aforementioned flasher.

Not one fucking word done. Awesome.

Yeah 2.5 hours of sleep= Shank Alert level is fucking Fuschia.

However, this:



Again and again all fucking day.

Now I think I'm going to write a porny flasher that y'all can blame in part on Diane Kepler and a mutual enjoyment of sharp things.

I'm aiming for about 700-800 words before let's say 7.

Unless I pass out in which case...yeah.

I've been crocheting madly still. I'm almost done with the epic prayer shawl style shawl I'm making for a friend. Trading between crafters is teh awesome. I'd like to redo it but she likes it. Pics over the weekend.

Under the cut my latest scarf. I made a faux cable knit scarf with a ruffled black edge. The stitch to do the cable is tedious but I love how it comes out.

Pics under the cut.

( Big freaking crafty fotos )

I've been writing more obsessive little haiku. Here are some of them.

They are not classical in subject matter per usual.

( Haiku of the obsessed. )

Okay excuse me while I go try to finish this fucking essay before I claw my own eyes out.

I will probably cross post this over at subculture fats at some point.

However under the cut a few outfits and some make up.

( Office goth is crabby and has cold toes. )

Dear Lj Hive Mind,
Hi there, it's me hivemind braincelll #55687752.

I'm tired and trying to do some research and am fucking lost and google is pissing me RIGHT the fuck off.

If anyone has a copy of this and might want to give it to me or sell it to me for hella cheap I'd be grateful. http://us.macmillan.com/blackreligionandaesthetics

Or if anyone has it and would be so kind as to copy a couple of bits out of it for me and mail it to me I'd be eternally grateful. I am lamenting my non-studentness right now. Holy fucking shit. Clearly I never went to college I had NO idea books were that fucking expensive.

Wow.

Reason #eleventysevetyfivebillion I'm glad I didn't go to the mythical big girls school.

Also if anyone has book recs in the following subjects that are not fluffy or too new agey that would be lovely.

Sacred prostitution
Worship of Ishtar- pls no sex books. There are plenty about but I don't need any.
A good Jung primer
African Diaspora studies RE: religion mainly.
Anything related to radical desires, the outer edges of kink. True fax pls kthnks, don't need more out there kinky fiction.

Also feel free to suggest things that seem to go along with this semi disparate list.

Also feel free to demand explanations for the list.

Now I'm going to have tea and try not to pee on the floor out of spite and annoyance.

PS..being a naturally studious person can be really frustrating sometimes.

I listened to the first Dexter novel on audiobook this week and it was pretty good. It wasn't perfect and I'm fairly glad I didn't get a physical copy. There were some moments where the author who's name I've forgotten now says things that made me kind of go, BUH?

It wasn't the subject matter, we all know it's all murder all day up in here but, some weird cultural things that made my left eye twitch.

It wasn't enough to ruin the whole book for me like with another book I read quite awhile ago. But enough to make me want to skip ahead little.

I also started reading a Henry Miller collection I got in amazing condition over the summer from Value Village. And really wow. I am reading it in tiny tiny nibbles because I want to savor it.

Um.

OH I got another baffling bit of criticism (?) from an editor whom I've never heard of or submitted to, who runs a magazine I've never heard of or submitted to and that doesn't have an actual website. This person followed some links from a forum we're both on and read some of my stuff and sent me a PM on a website we both frequent saying "your characters don't seem black."

Um........*slow blink*

I responded by saying that a.) not all of them are b.) in some of what this person read, the ethnicity of the narrator isn't an issue at hand because I never say. Hell in some of what this person read I don't even make mention of gender, time or specific place.
~

This person hasn't gotten back to me yet. I was very polite but my allergy to bullshit is acting up and again I come to the issue of whether or not I want to tear this person a new asshole for presuming to speak for my personal ongoing black experience. I don't want to get kicked out of another black folks oriented community but really?

I already got myself uninvited from a little google group for shit like this.

Maybe this portion of my thirties shouldn't be open to talking to so many fucking strangers.

As annoyed as I am, I do recognize that maybe this is the universe telling me I need to learn to have a bit more patience with other people.

So that's all for today. I'm getting myself ready for nanowrimo, most of my research is pretty much done. And dudes, I made notes. Big deal for me.

Today though I am going to continue this magical realism story thing I started way back when. If you missed it here's a link to the first story. http://www.megaupload.com/?d=3I9GJ47A It's a little doc file. In this installment our heroine gets named (but you don't hear her name story until later), talks some shit to an old friend and loses a few dreadlocks in the line of duty.

Good times.

( A little bite of what I'm working on )