Broken in the brainpan.

Tagged by the Cookie.

Tue, 05 Jan 2010 23:37:45 GMT

xlivvielockex tagged me.

Post this at your journal, then tag at least three people to do the same so they can repost it

Mention 5 things that are going on around you
Tell us 4 things about yourself - habits, something weird, hobbies or something you think is special about you, positive or negative
Share 3 thoughts that are going through your head right now.
2 things that is a must have in a partner
1 memory that made you happy once and still makes you smile today

Five things going on around you:

1. There is a fan squealing somewhere behind my left ear.
2. Last.FM is kicking some ass My Nina Simone station. I totally don't even know if that will work.
3. Under my left boob right by my underwire is itching so bad I may have to jam my whole hand in there.
4. A boy just walked by and did a little pookie dance to make me giggle.
5. Very strong genmaicha green tea is brewing.

Four things about yourself:

1. I kinda still wanna maybe do a 1 night burlyq style torch singing type thing.
2. I am ~~a little~~ okay a lot obsessed with floofy clothing.
3. I am a gassy but delicate creature.
4. I seriously kinda need to spend some time laying my head on someones boobs and being petted and fed treats.

Three thoughts going through my head right now:

1. "What the FUCK IS SQUEALING BACK THERE OMFGBBQ!!!!!!11!!ELEVENTY!"
2. "People need to leave so I can sing at my desk and do jazz hands."
3. "If that fan doesn't stop squealing someone is getting stabbed."

Two things you must have in a partner:

1. Ability to interpret my frequent flailing and flapping into language.
2. Enough crazy to both counter and deal with my crazy.

One memory that makes you smile and still makes you happy today:
Singing to xlivvielockex and her husbear at their wedding (which included some titty shaking) and THEN at the anniversary party Grandma telling me she remembered me singing and thought I was delightful.

Also at her wedding standing waiting for her to go to the alter and saying something about bitch please and absolutely horrifying the cracked out little wedding planner lady.

AND (yeah I'm cheating I don't care).

Uniballer and I used to go to this Chinese restaurant in North Seattle (THe RICKSHAW people)a lot and we went for his birthday the year before we moved away from there. We were having a pretty good time and I sang him a song during the karaoke portion of the evening. By the time I got back to him at the bar he was getting CRUISED by this hawt butch lesbian and her girlfriend.

I vetoed any action beyond some hugs and feels copped because both ladies were putting off crazy vibes and LO and BEHOLD not even three weeks later we saw them out with another couple and there was dramaz. Therefor proving my crazy don't touch the booty vibes are in fact almost super natural.

In non meme news.

I started something of a ghost story that I'm going about very slowly because there is a very particular place I want to get it to and it's proving difficult.

Also the prostitution essay is almost done.

And um...yeah and stuff.

I need a face palm icon.

Tue, 05 Jan 2010 00:51:21 GMT

If one more person upon connecting a name with my Blackness asks if I write "urban" fiction someone is getting shanked.

Also being surprised that I don't write "urban" fiction is fine, but don't tell me how very shocked you are.

Really.

This is getting to be right up there with "but you don't sound Black"

Really.

This brought to you by an online writers group I was checking out one of the senior members followed my links to my bibliography page thing and yeah.

Fuck to the fucking that.

Also being Black does not exclude you from the don't put your dirty fucking fingers in my hair.

That bullshit may get you punched.

When I say no there is not a piece in my bun, I fucking mean it only people I give permission to can put fingers in my hair.

To quote a little old man on the bus today, "where the fuck is your home training?"

In less I am about to stab a bitch news.

Said hair feels delightfully fluffy and fabulous. Even though it got pretty well drenched on the way to work.

I also have 3 actual curls. Just like when I was a wee kid/baby and it cracks me up. My little brother had the same 3 devil curls as a wee kid, all three face different directions than the surrounding hair no matter what. He's a biggun now and he has a head full of gorgeous tawny curls that are no more because he's a fucking marine.

I wish I still had the pics of he and I when he had his purple mohawk and gauged ears.

Uh.

I desperately need a new big bag/purse that is water resistant. My current tote is roomy enough but soaks up water and I have a very damp and blurred notepad and wavy edged book to show for it. Also a large crochet project that is still damp. I am not getting another backpack lest I start collecting patches like a rabid teenager again. I am however highly tempted.

I've been obsessed with crocheting accessories lately. Namely small clutch purses, cuff bracelets. I really suck at making fingerless glove gauntlet things and Uniballed laughed at the left one from the pair I made him because I a.)neglected to write down the original pattern I made and b.) had issues putting together the left one vs the right one. He loves them anyway.

And a little bit from the essay I'm working on under the cut. It is about the time I almost ran away to Quebec to become a prostitute. Hopefully it'll be up and available in a couple of weeks. I have one almost ready to go about why I will never EVER do cocaine ever again. Unless I'm planning a murder spree where it ends up that I go out in a blaze of glory.

She was well put together and wearing a beautiful dark gray tailored suit, killer shoes. She didn’t really look like a madam or at least I didn't think she did, she looked like a business lady in town to do business lady things. In my head she was in town to oversee some kind of hostile takeover of awesomeness and she had seen me and had to have me.

Matter of fact I was trying very hard to be nonchalant sexy sitting there with my scotch and cigar, wearing heels that hurt my feet but looked damn good. I smiled at her when she introduced herself, I cannot for the life of me remember her name but I do remember that she was wearing all black and had this lush dark brown hair that looked to be barely contained in a big silver clip.

She shook my hand and sat with me. I don’t really remember much of our small talk because I was fantasizing about her leaning over to whisper to me that she wanted to take me up to her room. That didn’t happen. We did talk a great deal about art and music, then our talk moved to books. She had the most wonderful little Frenchy roll to her speech that I couldn’t place. I recall feeling like a real grown up type lady as we talked. The sort who could sit with another grown up type lady and discuss these things in a dimly lit bar in an intimate little leather booth.

Also holy mother fucking shit I am tired.

Last week getting up an hour early to catch an hour earlier bus so I could get to work on time really fucking FUCKED with me.

I slept about 4 hours.

Fuck this shit.

First

Fri, 01 Jan 2010 23:53:08 GMT

First entry of the year, a snippet from the smut I'm currently editing.

Also, revisiting the idea of putting out my own little erotic chapbook. Romance is king in the smutty markets these days and I don't really do romance in any usual sense. I probably have enough finished bits to do a decent sized little thing if I knuckled down on rewrites etc.

I am pondering it. Apparently I'm circling the conclusion that I'd rather write whatever the fuck I want and not get published than write shit I am only lukewarm about and get published. This is a new thing.

Meanwhile..enjoy the snippet under the cut and Happy Freakin New Year.

I can’t speak yet and just shake my head, he chuckles and teases the swollen entrance of my pussy.

“So you do want to fuck then?”

I nod. He is the only man I will ever ride bareback, I took him to get his vasectomy, and babied him while he recovered. He holds my hand when I get blood drawn to be tested and gets tested along with me so I’m not alone. Of course I want to fuck.

Finally I can say something.

“Yes, for fuck sake stop teasing me.”

He’s dipping his cock in and out of me, chortling.

“If the lady insists.”

Just so you know.

Mon, 28 Dec 2009 23:58:08 GMT

My bestie xlivvielockex AKA Cookie..is the mother fucking shit.

I am right now nomming chocolate (my FAVORITE dark chocolate w/chili) because she loves me and is awesome.

Also my Christmas present (no seriously it cost what feels like a fuckload) is on the way.

Uniballer and I had a lazy Xmas. Movies, giant pancake, sleep. Rinse repeat.

I am not really into holidays but a couple of days off of work was nice. Holiday pay is a little better but meh.

Back to the salt mines.

Year in Review meme.

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 01:03:18 GMT

Stolen from Karjack

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
I got published in the same publication with an invite to submit more.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't do those. I did meet some goals.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Uh...oh wait yes.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not super close but close enough.

5. What countries did you visit?
The ones in my head.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Um, I'm not sure really. Aside from summer dresses. Maybe a pair of nice heels.

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Several I'd rather not discuss.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Um. I'm not really sure. I'd have to say I submitted way more this year than I ever have.

9. What was your biggest failure?
See above, I also got rejected a lot. That feels like kind of a fail. But I did have some grown up author types say cool things to me so it balances out I think.

I did fail FAIL FAIL FAIL at taking an actual vacation.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had that awful flu that may or may not have been Hamthrax that mutated into me puking and/or crapping for days straight.

11. What were the best things you bought?
Um. Probably my new to me docs that I'm wearing right now. Thanks to them my feet have been warm and dry.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
The people that love me enough to still like me even when I'm off my fucking nut.

13. Whose behavior appalled you?
America, yeah a lot of you. Really.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent, bills, bills, bills rent. Rent. More rent. Bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My essay store. Getting published some. Reconnecting with some old author types who I love.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
I'm not totally sure.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Um about the same.
ii. thinner or fatter? About the same give or take ten pounds.
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer unfortunately.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Writing, sleeping, being sane.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Less crazy. LESS FUCKING CRAZY.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I'm actually not working which is weird. So um....Uniballer and I will probably have some TV dinners since it's the end of the month and I won't be able to cash my check until Saturday. Um..maybe um..dunno.

21. Why is there no Question 21?
I eated it.

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Kinda, I did fall in love with the fact that some really awesome people exist.

23. How many one-night stands?
None.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
Um. I'm not sure.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nope.

26. What was the best book you read?
It's a toss up between Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness by William Styron and The Adderall Diaries by Stephen Elliott

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Probably my love of break core. Shitmat, BongRa, Duran Duran Duran, etc.

28. What did you want and get?
a hat with ears from Cookie.

29. What did you want and not get?
Lots of stuff.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
I don't go to teh movies but um...probably uh. Uh. UH. Fuck I don't know.

31. What did you do on your birthday?
I worked.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Less fuckery with the state of WA on behalf of my partner. Srsly.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Black, skirts, floofy.

34. What kept you sane?
Uh.....

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I dunno. I kinda wanna spank Stephen Elliott.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Lots of them.

37. Who did you miss?
My brother. He's off being a marine. :(

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Um I'm not sure I've been horrifyingly shy this year. Meeting new people kinda freaks me out.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
That I can do that writing thing. I can. I can.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Screw you no lyrics. Just listen to the fucking vocals. I listen to this song almost daily

Later some tidbits from the weird love story I'm working on. I am feeling kind of no really crazy right now. NOt a lot of sleep means I'm walking around half in the Badlands if you get my meaning.

Thankfully I have two days off for teh holiday and hope this involves sedation, bum rubbing and sleep.

And um duh

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 01:08:29 GMT

I am bad at this self promotion thing.

I'm in the Legendary this issue.

http://www.downdirtyword.com/fictionpage.html

Shannon Barber y'all know the drill.

Um.

OH did I put the essay store link here?

http://nudemuse.org/essaypage.html

Also there's a page in there where you can see my wee bibliography not counting print or things that aren't around anymore.

I'm spent.

Silliness.

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 08:04:07 GMT

I found my camera cord.

And just took the foto under the cut.

In non silly picture news I'll have the Rleyh story I was yammering about for download since it's about 9 pages.

Um.

Yeah. Scuse me while I gyrate to Pantera doing Cat Scratch fever and possibly horrify Uniballer with a lengthy poetic waxing about Tom Jones and my potential panty throwing.

Goodnight internets.

That is me topless, hair freshly washed before it was conditioned. I have my conditioner on my hair right now wrapped in plastic bags. Hotness y/y?

I am very excited about getting a Maxiglide for Xmas. I'm gonna learn how to straighten my hair.

Meme.

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 01:03:34 GMT

Meme stolen from all ove.r

First sentences, 2009!

January- Nostalgia FTW
Feb- # 22:50 @debaucheddiva Got mine. #
March- # 13:21 Ow my head drugs kick in quick pls #
April- Four pages in.
May- # 12:15 Y hello thar bitchtastic allergies. How is it my left ear and right nostril are plugged up. #
June- Today I chalk up to epic fucking fail.
July- Via [info]lonesome_crow I found a link to this 25 words contest thingy.
August- Um.
Sept- Work continues on the smutbook.
October- Things I learned about crocheting this weekend.
November- Not one fucking word done.
December- Remember I mentioned at the beginning of November that I made an ass of myself with some editors I really like?

Bleh

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 04:09:51 GMT

I am in a mood today and did a little refining on the thing I wrote from the prompt write a story backwards.

Involves murder, masturbation and me fiddling with structure a little bit.

Write a story backwards.

The room is destroyed, fragments of a life busted open like a piñata is scattered around. The lights are flickering, what lights there are left, just that single bulb in the kitchen, its weak yellow light no substitute for the big bright floor lamp that lays in a twisted heap in the corner. It would be more fitting if it was raining but, Mother Nature isn’t known for excellent timing.

The room is still and silent, waiting.

Still, the room serves as a rich and exhausted tableau of spent violence. If you look more closely, splotches of still wet dark blood dot once white walls and shards of broken things. There is hair stuck to the wall in a fleshy bloody clump. You can see that the room was once a nice cozy little place with a tattered couch and ratty pillows to lounge on. You don’t want to think about how the pillows got strewn about the small room, you don’t want to think about what their spilled fluffy innards say about what’s gone on here.

The throbbing silence burns in your ears; you can almost feel it against your skin as if the ghost of the violence that took place here is rubbing itself against your flesh. There is pressure, an invisible push to look further. Look beyond the disturbed living room and sad empty pillows, past the splashes of brown and red. You don’t want to. You know that there are forty two other things you’d rather see and rather do but you’re drawn inextricably to it.

Across the floor and down a short demure hallway you can see more blood, little pools of gelatinous crimson that are thick and frequent enough to still be sodden. The distance between you and the horror is too short, you want to beg but there’s no one to listen. Remnants of the horrors perpetrated here flash across your conscious like heat lightening, you can’t weep; you can’t scream you can only move forward.

The small bathroom had once been pink with black and white accents, faux art deco. The tarnished silver fixtures with their abstract fleur de lis patterns, their patina is sullied smeared with gore and death. Your eyes are dragged to the mirror, it is the only thing intact and whole in the room, in all of this it is gleaming and beautiful. An old thing, slightly warped but it gives you a moment of respite, a second of peace.

Peace cannot last here, you’re in it now. The abattoir stink of butchered meat seeps into your entire being, there’s no escaping now. It has you.

Your eyes follow the smell to the mess in the bathtub. It is a body, human at one time but you can’t be sure. You don’t know if it was man or a woman, black or white, now it is just the mess in the tub. Your senses while tender previously are invaded.

You know the violence, the hate. You know the terror and pain. You cannot separate teeth claws and torn viscera from each other. Victim and Victor have merged inside your mind until, at the apotheosis of this; you fall to your knees. Despite the rarefied terror that pulses under your skin, there is arousal and triumph rolling over you in waves. Your hands have found that bestial arousal between your infidel thighs that have parted.

Your body moves, your eyes are riveted to both the present image of cold death in the pink tub and the overlay of blurred nightmare that flashes over it in your imagination. Victim/Victor, Monster/Innocent, you are everything and nothing with one foot in the hard cold world of this room of death and the other in the ether where the monsters roam freely.

Orgasm brings death. The French had it right all along.

La petite mort.

Release of soul and tears and blood and at the end a life you had nothing to do with and a death you enjoy vicariously.

In the end as you retreat from all of it, experience melds with memory that melds with reality that melds with the unreal-

It will never settle. And you will never again touch anything so beautiful and horrifying. The experience will live in you long after the death is gone and those small silent rooms are cleaned up and released from the event.

Dirty dirty dirty.

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 02:19:56 GMT

I am fiddling with another of my R'leyh stories and they are getting more violent and dirty.

I have to wrap this one up and move on to the other idea I had.

More messing with the Lolita archetype. The main question rolling around my head is just how monstrous will I go?

Also, honestly folks sometimes I am a sick mother fucker.

Just saying.

I will probably upload the one I'm about to finish and leave a link for downloading and reading at your leisure.

Yeah.

Officially.

Sat, 12 Dec 2009 02:20:02 GMT

If you don't read my regular blog officially my Essay Store is a go. Find it here.

It is not perfect and I will continue fiddling with it but, if I waited any longer I wouldn't have opened it at all and I needed to give myself a lil kick in the nuts.

Frankly I'm really nervous people are going to hate my essays. Yeah I am really fucking nervous about that but I'm going to keep writing them and offering them up for (my moment of advertising..and you'll know why I don't do it for a living) less than the price of a cup of coffee.

I've had a bit of a rough mental health week so if I don't show my head again for a few days I'm still alive.

Now if y'all will excuse me I'm going to work on the next Sexual (Mis)Adventures essay. This one is a rewrite of that squirting incident thing I wrote forever ago.

Also...

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

Further proof.

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 05:24:44 GMT

Further Proof xlivvielockex and I are made for each other.

Cookie: Sometimes I want to believe, no I have to believe, that it's all a gag
Me: I know holy shit.
Me: I would do a lot of things with my vag, use it for evil, use it for money, use it for world domination but I would not use my fucking pussy to paint with
ME: WTF
ME : Her cunt should be repo'd
Cookie: Oh my god, can I please quote that?
Cookie: PLEASE
Me: Yes
Me: I'm going to too LOL

This is what sparked the convo...http://www.regretsy.com/2009/11/28/thinking-outside-the-box/

Further proof.

Beasty Love Cookie.

Myspace Graphics and Myspace Layouts

Randoming.

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 08:56:55 GMT

I have a green tea ice cream buzz so a little random. SUGAR WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Old Navy tees are really fucking long which means that there's booby room but holy shit. My 99 cent (ebay thriftin FTW) shirt is like damn near mid thigh. Note to self, investigate skinny jeans+boots for that.

As much of a dress obsession as I have, I'm having a terrible time with sizing right now. For some reason everything I want would (going by measurements) would have titty room but hang everywhere else. Not. Awesome.

I saw this strapped underbust cincher thingy that while I am intrigued I really need to see someone with DD's+ wearing it because I imagine boob weight might make it hella uncomfortable. Also I have a short torso.

I really want a new tattoo. Text naturally but since my arm isn't quite big enough for the Bukowski quote I like I am highly tempted to go with "So it goes." However- some douche baggery may have ruined the idea for me. Douche baggery in the form of hipster.

Do not want.

I started crocheting a shawl for cookie and seriously fucked it up. Have to frog it and start over now and I'm really not happy about that.

Retail wise Black Friday was kind of a bust but I did win an auction on ebay for some Old Navy pants. I have a terrible suspicion they will be too big in the ass since I do not have magical junk in the trunk.

Uniballer is watching that kitten tickle video and I recognized it from about five seconds of audio.

I almost stole a pitbull puppy the other day because she was so sweet and cute. I was highly tempted to knock her human boy to the ground, grab her and flee for snorgling and walkies. Clearly I didn't but the temptation was strong.

Okay Uniballer says it's dinner time. Cheese pizza.

Also um WOW I believe i have settled on an outfit for the office xmas party. Will need skinny jeans and killer shoes.

Okay no rly kthnks bye.

Also win.

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 04:46:57 GMT

Remember I mentioned at the beginning of November that I made an ass of myself with some editors I really like? Well it wasn't such a huge faux pas that I didn't get forgiveness that story will be in the Dec. 20 issue of the Legendary.

I am SO really fucking excited about this one.

It's kind of a new thing for me. I wrote from a woman perspective (I KNOW RIGHT?), and even better I edited it by myself. And we all know editing is not my strong suit.

I was angsting SO hard about that submission too y'all. For reals tho.

The Legendary started my year off with an acceptance and I don't think I have any others outstanding so I'm happy.

Even though my reject pile is MOTHER FUCKING HUUUUUUUUUUUGE.

I'm tempted to start printing out my rejection notes.

I probably shouldn't.

Um.

OH right. Essay store.

My essay store is about three steps away from launch. I need a logo, (not sure if I'm doing that myself or not), I need to finish coding the pages. And then I need to upload my content.

The plan is when you spend your 1-3 dollars you are emailed a link to download the essay of your choice.

And I still have to write this statement about why I want to do things this way and then i have to send that to Cookie because she will tell me if I'm being a douche about it because she loves me.

Um.

FUCK I still can't find my fucking camera cord and I have fotos to share. :(

Also I think I am going to reshape my eyebrows. I'm feeling the need to channel some 30's glam but I don't want to have an accident. I'm not super good at drawing my brows on never have been. I missed that part of Goth School.

Okay that's all. I'm spent.

Nanowrimo come down.

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 00:33:44 GMT

Okay.

So I learned some stuff as I said last night.

Strangely though I'm kinda jonesing to be writing. Matter of fact I have an essay open right now that I am editing and it feels okay.

This is a weird but nice thing.

Ambition is a weird emotion for me.

So I won yay, have the start of something I think could turn out pretty damn good when I'm writing for quality over quantity.

I have a sketchy plan for my essay store.

People -still- want to buy them.

The fall off of traffic on my regular blog since the Fatospehre feed isn't on SP anymore still isn't as huge as I thought it would be. A few people have asked me what I think about that and I'm really not sure. Yes I have an opinion but we all know that opinions are like the literal buttholes.

Uh. I heard back from We Love Colors and they are apparently working on their plus size stripey tights. I really didn't like them and would not spend 17$ on them pretty much ever.

I am unfortunately not going to be able to see Stephen Elliot either at his reading or the workshop for a variety of reasons including short staffing and the fact that I am a wage drone.

That's about. I'm going to make myself some Emergen C fizzy lifting drink and edit.

FUCK YEAH

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 11:41:26 GMT

First this:

And also:

I WIN I WIN I WIN I WIN FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YEAH I WIN BITCHES!!!!!

I learned some very valuable stuff about myself as an author. Including that I am capable of shutting up my fact checkign inner nerd to let the more arty bits out. I did 50743 words in 28 days (I did nothing the first two days) and I have an excellent start to a vampire horror novel with some pan sexual ass biting action in it.

FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH. Now bed.

Hustlin' Hustlin'

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 10:15:46 GMT

Theme music for my mood and the 2.75K sprint I just did.

Lyrics-

"Loco"

pull - steamroller rollin' through
my head said attached to loco
power up coal through the system
out to the right said you're in my
light - lock down the generator on
man screw down use the system
use the main plan full power up to
the point man don't fuck with me

loco

lock down here latch the generator
on screw the system
full power hit the main plan

Emphasis on the don't fuck with me bit.

A snippet under the cut and bonus video. What I imagine if Flipmode and Metal fucked and had a cornrow wearing hot piece of ass rocking baby. And I should go to bed because when I'm on a serious roll I contort myself and move muscles in a way that makes them knot. This is probably a huge part of what wrong with my fucking neck. I do it when I read too. Flexing random muscles, face twitching, grunting, occasionally kinda rocking in my chair or sitting in fucked up positions.

I'm sure if it was on video I'd look a wee bit of teh crazy.

Also can I just say AGAIN how exciting it is for me as a vampire lore lover to not be doing the white people version? Okay Fen of Color moment but I have been reading vampire fiction for seriously like twenty years or more and this feels damn nice. I remember yearning for African and Middle Eastern ancient kick ass vampires, vampires from Asia and whatnot. I always wondered how they would move about and survive and where they would go in modern times and how they would deal with it.

I'm not even to the real shit yet. This is going to be a long fucking book and YES Cookie baby I promise I will finish this fucker. Even if you have to prod me occasionally. I will also accept offers of boob feels.

And 40K MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!

"So until then what are you going to do to entertain me."

Eshe smiled at her and her voice lowered to an adorable growl. Sofia giggled and it made the other woman frown.

"Why are you laughing at me?"

"You are really too cute to growl like that. It is just funny."

Eshe pouted.

"I am not cute. Sod off with your cute."

She was glowering now and that made Sofia giggle more.

"Oh all right you are not cute. You are an evil wicked creature. You terrify me."

Her voice had lowered and she snaked a cool pale hand up Eshe is naked thigh. She ruffled her fingers through Eshe is newly short pubic hair and watched her face.

"You will not make it up to me that quickly you slattern."

She rolled the r when she said slattern and Sofia dissolved into helpless giggles again.

"Oh my god Eshe you are so fucking British."

"S'right love. I am a big nasty Briton."

"Oh are you now."

"Do not mistake me love, be nice or the claret will flow and I will send you off with your knickers hanging from your nose."

Sofia blinked then they both started to laugh.

"Shut up and kiss me."

Still chuckling Eshe pulled the other woman close, nipping at her lips.

"I will get you sorted, do not worry your pretty head about that."

Their lips met, sweetly for a moment but then as promised the claret did indeed begin to flow. Eshe bit Sofia's soft pink lower lip hard and pulled away to watch the blood course slowly down her chin. Sofia trembled when Eshe licked the flow away with just the tip of her tongue. She let her eyes flutter half closed.

"Sharps?"

"Course."

Slow ass is slow.

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 09:30:50 GMT

Not going quickly at all. Not sure I'll finish.

However, since I stopped nerding so hard on the historical details things are going smoother.

That is kinda how things are going.

Notes from weird.

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 23:34:52 GMT

In bullet point format because my brainmeats are full of other things.

I am still behind in my nano word count but I have learned several valuable things about my writing habits. I am often a slave to my own nerdness and will grind to a halt to research so things are just so, and that being what it is I should probably not do a historical novel again. Ever. Shit makes my brainmeats throb like a son of a bitch.
One of my favorite authors is going to be in town doing a writing class thing that I kinda wanna take. Despite my actual dislike of the writing classes/seminars I've taken before. I have to get the day off and figure out how to get there because the Greenwood neighborhood is a distant but fond memory. I think I need to take the five.
I'm also a little leery of going because I'm not sure how much I want to be the only brown person in attendance. Seattle has not been awesome to me in that respect lately (as in staring people who want to pretend like they are oh NO WAY STARING AT THE BLACK LADY WITH METAL IN HER FACE) and I'm honestly kind of spent dealing with that for this year.
I'm still kind of intimated talking to a few editors and other authors via social media. It makes me a little nervous that some of them (no I am not naming names) know my name enough to be intertubes friendly with me. YES that means i'm kinda intimidated and awed.
I am 90% certain that for Christmas this year (depending on $$) I am either getting myself a used laptop or a set of faux dreads. I want to rock some synth dreads (mostly black with 1-2 white ones, 6-10 purple ones) for awhile and I still cannot fucking make them myself. A lady I know, her partner might cut me a deal which would be awesome. I really need a laptop though so it might come down to what's more cost effective in the long term.
Yes I get my presents for myself based on cost effectiveness and the synth dreads will give me a good break from bunning my hair. I'd like to get it past APL sometime soon.
I'm having a little (okay fuck a lot) of city envy. Literary events in NY/SF are happening right now that I really want to go to. Even some here in Seatown however, I'm a working stiff.
Uh. Balls.
My nano count is- 22,487
I forgot my thumb drive at home and stuff so I'm going to have to pick up at another point in the story and go back and fill in tonight at home.
Okay that's it I really need to pee and make more coffee and pretend like I"m doing work for The Man.
I might take a cell phone pic of my slightly butchy outfit later.
Under the cut the excerpt of the day.

"Amburu, would you like to taste my blood?"

She could hear the audible click in his throat as he considered for a moment then nodded slowly.

"I would be greatly honored if you would allow me the-"

She cut him off and loosened her robe enough to reveal a long sinewy throat. His nostrils quivered and his gaze fixated on the strong pulse he could see there. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her in close leaning in close to take in the scent of perfume on her throat. Spices he could not name, the musky natural scent of her skin and under that the cool blood. She was a serpent and her blood was cooler than that of normal mortals and it thrilled him.

He was so gentle, Theoris was surprised and pleased, more than happy to allow him to do what he liked. Nina was not rough but she was not quite this seductive. While Nina was pure predator when she scented blood, Amburu was calm and considering.

She let out a little breath when his lips grazed her skin, they were soft and full almost womanly. He kissed her throat, using the tip of his tongue to taste the salt on her skin. She was pressed so tightly against him she could feel the minute quivering in his muscles. His arms tightened and with a wet pop his fangs pierced her skin. She let out a tiny cry but not of pain exactly, something about his bite sent a warm rush of pleasure from her scalp to her toes.

Moaning he laid her on her back, supporting her head with one hand. Despite the fact that she had let only precious few blood drinkers taste her, he was something special. There was an art to his feeding, she could feel his tongue lightly lapping the little wounds in her throat. That feeling put images of that tongue firmly between her thighs in her mind and she smiled, let her eyes close.

He could taste the slight tang of her arousal and experimentally ran a hand under her robe up her strong stout bare leg. There was a moment of hesitation before she gave her unspoken consent and turned her hips slightly and parted her thighs. His fingers found her wet and ready, his low moan of appreciation vibrated against her throat and she smiled.

Amburu used his fingers deftly, gently drawing pleasure from her by degrees in time with his slow suckling at her throat. When her heart changed rhythm and her hips pressed more urgently against him he followed her lead, her legs spread slightly further apart and he could feel the vibration of her saying something but all he could really hear was her heartbeat.

As her heartbeat sped up he took one long hard draw and withdrew, lapping the little wounds to make them scab, then he turned his attention to her pleasure. He tilted his head to watch her face as it suffused with color and light, her mouth opened wide and she smiled as her orgasm moved through her. He could feel her entire body undulate against him, feel the muscles rolling as she bit her lip, trying to keep quiet. He whispered in her ear.

"You do not have to silence yourself."

With that she let out a long jubilant cry, her eyes opening wide. She took his wrist when she had enough, and lay back panting and smiling, her eyes floating half closed.

Nina watched them with a knowing smile, she was not very desirous herself most of the time but seeing her two dear friends enjoy each other made her happy. Amburu knew however what she would enjoy and motioned her over. She moved close and kissed Theoris lightly on the forehead then turned to Amburu and struck.

Theoris opened her eyes in time to see Nina take him and she was amazed. Nina had tasted her long ago but she had never seen Nina taste anyone else and she had to roll to one hip to watch in fascination.

Amburu let out a low rumbling groan as she struck him, his arm wrapped around her waist and he smiled at Theoris over Nina's shoulder. Nina's head shook just slightly and his eyes rolled, the pain was enormous and beautiful. Even in mortal life he had been an unrepentant masochist. He loved to take pain and be left unsatisfied. It was really what had attracted Nina and kept her interested. Despite her calm, civilized exterior she had a sadistic streak and when she found a masochist to compliment that it pleased her.

Yeah.

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 08:11:00 GMT

Okay first official snippet of the epicness.

I am taking WAY more artistic liberties with time/history in the Ancient Egypt too because I was seriously slowing myself down stopping to fucking fact check.

So in this part, our two vampire parents are visiting a temple of Sekhmet where our lady (Nina..as in the Sumerian usage) and her partner Amburu have been greeted with dancing by Nina's friend Theoris who is a shape shifter of the snakey flavor. And in this part they are spending time with our heroine to be Eshe as an orphaned infant.

They are canoodling the baby and talking.

I am at 12310 after an 800 failure to save on the PC at work I'm a little ahead of where I was at about 8 PM.

"That is true. And that story from Upper Egypt about the Children of Bast. Do you think that one is at least partially true?"

Nina thought about it.

"I am not certain. It seems like this would be the sensible place for such creatures to come from but they probably come from further abroad and find the cat worshippers. I would if I were one."

They fell silent again listening to the baby sleep, occasionally looking up at each other with wistful little smiles. They could hear Anat and Theoris returning and Nina kissed his cheek.

"Anat is delicious. If she did not have a babe at her breast I might be tempted."
Amburu shook his head chuckling.

"You are already tempted. I can tell. And yes she is very beautiful. Come, let us give the child back so we may retire with the lovely serpent."

When the other two came back into the room Nina and Amburu had rewrapped the baby tightly in linen swaddling and Nina held her close.

"Anat, if you keep her wrapped this way she will sleep until she is hungry or must be cleaned. This young children like to be held tightly until they can control their limbs."

Anat thought about that and nodded slowly in understanding.

"Of course, I don't know why I didn't think of that. She is still so young she remembers the womb."

Nina beamed at her as she handed the baby back.

"Yes that is it exactly. And as she loses the memory of the womb she will calm and sleep through the night. Thank you for letting us spend some time with her. It means more to us than you know. You honor us."

Orly?

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 05:07:50 GMT

Yeah that.

Meh.

SO yeah.

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 09:14:56 GMT

So I made 3K.

I also got a bug up my butt and sent a submission to The Legendary. This time writing as a girl rather than the boy with cock in hand type thing.

Now if the trend continues maybe every 3K words I will submit something else.

Also I have quite a silly author bio on the Legendary.

And I quote myself:

...is a 32 year old author who loves coffee flavored coffee and pie. She can often be seen running feral in her natural habitat somewhere in the Pacific Northwest, cup of coffee in one hand and armed with a scowl.

Here's the link to the story in case you missed it the first time.

http://www.downdirtyword.com/authors/shannonbarber.html

I am still quite proud of that one. It's easily one of my personal favorites.

Now I get pie.

And I think the next thing is I will finish the little flasher I posted the snippet of. I know exactly where else it needs to go to finish, there will be blood.

Um.

Yeah pie then bed.

A taste of dirty flasher.

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 05:50:19 GMT

Okay so I didn't get to 2500 so here's only a bit of aforementioned flasher. Not to the actual porny bits yet though.

He’s mistaken her languorous mood for safety, the thought that perhaps it might just be the hot humid weather he’s thought that he was safe. That he would not be tempted which in all truth is a lie, he knows better.

He’s always known better.

There is something like panic rolling through his sweating body, muscles jump in minute cascades, under the sheen of sweat his nipple tighten into hard peaks, he can feel his cock shift lazily in his boxer shorts. His gaze distorts and goes out of focus, the fingers of his left hand wandering over the faint raised marks left on his chest from a few months prior. She’d been in fine form and the memory of her florid face reflected in a big blade took over his consciousness.

He wasn’t paying enough attention and when his gaze refocused on the kitchen she wasn’t there. Before he could get out of the chair to find her he heard her voice, she was still in the kitchen but he could tell that she was sitting at their small table which was out of his view.

“Get in here.”

A chill ran down his spine, her sweet soft voice drifted to him and he oozed out of the chair and onto hands and knees. He knew the drill and what she expected of him.

Just this.

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 02:39:42 GMT

Bleh.

ETA if I hit 2500 before I go home in the next three hours I will post what I have of my aforementioned flasher.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 00:24:04 GMT

Not one fucking word done. Awesome.